dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
