Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
