I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
