I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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