I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
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As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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