There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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