just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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