end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
