He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
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I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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