I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
