So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
