You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
