I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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