I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
