Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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