I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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