"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My vagina is officially offended.
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