oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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