how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
