Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
