a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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