Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
