i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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