I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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