I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
