The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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