He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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