look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
