Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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