this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
