My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
