I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
