Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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