You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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