It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Found your dick twin last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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