I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
