I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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