Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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