he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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