She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
