tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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