I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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