thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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