Need sex. Gaining weight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
