A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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