Sry I called you an 8
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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