Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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