I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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