Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
