those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
