Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
