I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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