Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
