did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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