so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
