They should really pass out barf bags in church
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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