the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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