Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
