Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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